Hello to all my lovely followers. Thank you for following and for your questions, I hope I’ve been a help to you. Recently, a follower has asked me where to go to find a poly community where one poly person could talk with other poly people who understand. So I’d like to welcome you all to send me ideas of how to connect us all and share our experiences with each other. Perhaps a facebook group, email correspondence, or perhaps even pen pals might work. Let me know what you all think so we can form a supportive poly community.
Love and Polyamory
Greetings to all of my followers, it’s been awhile since the last post but this was especially inspired by some concerning talk I have been hearing from close friends about their significant others.
There are several ways you can drive a person away but I’ll be talking about one specifically. Keeping your significant other by/near you at all times. The reasons for why a person would do this vary and can include but are not limited to the following: jealousy, insecurity, “wanting to keep their significant other safe” etc. I can understand that you might wish to spend every waking moment that you can with your significant other. However everyone needs their space. My partner for example loves to go out with their friends a lot each weekend. It makes me feel a bit lonely sometimes but I understand that they are the kind of person that needs to get out of the house and do something. Otherwise they have very restless behavior. So I let them go, tell them to have a good time, and to come home safely. I typically either go to sleep or find something else to entertain myself until they return and I welcome them back with a nuzzle and a kiss.
"If you love them let them go."
Please don’t trap them into staying with you, unless it’s a severe safety issue. (I.e. they’re drunk and can’t drive safely or there’s an axe murderer outside or something.)
Just look inside yourself if you catch yourself trying to make them stay home with you. Look for what feelings are triggering this and talk with your significant other about it. If you feel insecure, lonely, or jealous, ask yourself why. It will help you understand what your needs are in the relationship. However, be willing to compromise and this will get you far in your relationships. Hope this helps~
Thanks for following,
Love and Polyamory
Hello to all of my lovely followers, since Valentines’ Day is coming up I’d like to make a special post concerning it. Also for those who celebrate it happy year of the horse~
In any case Valentine’s Day has become overly hyped I believe and many partners and single people all over the world have made it known that if they don’t receive something of sentimental value, chocolate, flowers, etc. they’ll be upset and take it as a sign that you don’t care about/love them. However, I urge for you all not to get upset over this very publicized holiday. If a partner has forgotten about Valentine’s Day (yes some people do forget honestly), has to work, or things are financially tight at the moment try to understand and accept it. I would urge that every day be treated as Valentine’s day. Do something special for them when you can, love, accept, and appreciate them in all their aspects always.
I personally practice Valentine’s Day in a similar way that the Japanese do. In Japan on Valentine’s Day women give the important men in their life chocolate and this is not limited to boyfriends, fiancées, and husbands but also teachers, friends, and coworkers as well. White Day (March 14) is where the males reciprocate the feelings given to them the month before with a white item of choice. Some people are given white ribbons, white flowers, or white scarves but as I understand it anything white will do.
As always thanks for following,
Love and Polyamory
Hello and happy holidays to all my followers, since tis the season for gift giving. I thought I’d make this post about how I go about shopping for my significant other’s gifts. Firstly, I think about what kind of person they are mine in particular is extremely practical and frugal so most lavish gifts would be an utter nightmare and most likely a waste of well earned cash. Next I think about what they’ve been conversing/complaining about. (Maybe they’ve been cold with this crazy weather lately or perhaps they’ve been eyeing that new reclining chair at ikea because your old one is getting pretty shabby). Sometimes they won’t say anything at all if that’s the case ask some of their friends (preferably ones that can keep a secret haha). They might have a little insight into what they would like.
I also urge you all not to buy extravagant gifts that you simply cannot afford in order to impress them. In my opinion I don’t believe it’s worth it to put yourself in serious financial hardship. Some will appreciate a lovely hand made gift and/or card. Or you can even get a little creative with more intimate IOU’s or promises~
If you’re daring enough you can even ask them yourself what they want. (Pretty much fail-proof unless they change their mind a lot.)
Hope that helps you holiday shoppers and enjoy your vacation (if you get one) if not enjoy your weekend.
Thanks for following,
Love and Polyamory
Hello to all my lovely followers,
Today’s post will concern phone/email/Facebook etiquette. In today’s world the ability to “stalk” one’s significant other is made extremely simple especially through social media websites such as Facebook, MySpace (if anyone still uses it haha), etc. In my humble opinion it’s a healthy habit to check up on your significant other, spouse, like their status or laugh at their ridiculous pictures. It allows you access to a different part of them. However I believe some people take it too far. Constantly scrolling their news feed several times a day, getting upset or angry at every status that doesn’t include you and even sending nasty messages to a significant other’s intimate friends (opposite sex or not). It can get pretty crazy. I can understand the basis for these actions, possibly you don’t feel you are spending enough quality time with your significant other or you feel as though they care about others more than they do about you. If you’re feeling lonely I urge you to one, communicate with them and two to respect their privacy. Don’t snoop through their phone, emails, computer, or Facebook. If there’s something that concerns you about their behavior or actions on social media or otherwise at the very least confront them about it. In a calm and non-accusatory manner. Accusations tend to make a person defensive and therefore unwilling to hear your point of view. Use “I feel” instead of “you make me feel”. You make me feel is blame placement language and places the lame for your emotions on your significant other. Definitely not a good feeling.
As far as my significant other goes I trust him to respect my privacy. It’s pretty funny they are extremely vigilant in making sure I don’t see their passwords for anything, in those situations I politely avert my eyes when they type in a password or unlock their phone.
If you find yourself wanting to snoop through their phone, email, etc. ask yourself why first. Curiosity or boredom? Ask them if you could browse through it as they observe over your shoulder in case there’s sensitive information (social security number, account numbers, etc.). Overall trust is important in any relationship and so is respecting their space and privacy. I do realize I’ve left out a possibility that’s most likely going through all of your minds. (Well what if you suspect them of cheating?) I’ll try and cover that in the next journal entry.
As always questions, concerns, things you would like to see in future posts, and comments are welcome in my ask box.
Love you all and thanks for following~
-Love and Polyamory